Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
