And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
