Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so explain again why im purple
no
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
