all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
