the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
