everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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