i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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