I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
