Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
