that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
