I must be too annoying 4 u.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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