We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize