he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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