i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
