What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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