One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
