I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
