On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
