I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think your dad took our porno
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
