My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I believe in your delicious
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
