guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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