have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
