I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
