so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
