At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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