How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
