I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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