I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's never too late to be topless.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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