Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
