It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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