I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
