why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
