And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So squirting runs in the family.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
