I puked a lego.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Randomize
