just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
