remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Found your dick twin last night
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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