party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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