I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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