Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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