I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
