you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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