We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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