Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
