so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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