she looked like the before picture.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
