Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Success! We fucked roommates!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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