I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize