Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
