Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize