so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
