Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
