yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
