He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
