I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
