as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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