cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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