I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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