are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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