I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
