And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
