my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
