My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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