I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sext me about skeletons
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
