I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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