I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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