if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
