bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
