Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
