OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
