He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
