stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize