Have you finally orgasmed yet?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
