I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
