Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
