I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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