What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i will never coherently bang her
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
