Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
